I started texting my husband this morning, he was out of town last night, about our crazy morning this is what it said... running late even though I woke up early, one spanking, rain, quick breakfast on the go, one kid fell down and got pants wet, one asking mom what if the big kids make fun of me for having a sippy cup and my response was well if they make fun of you they're not being very Christ like, hearing we miss daddy, and ending with one big hug by both boys and two wet kisses and that is how my beautiful morning started... I then text him again and said that last part was not sarcasm, as I was typing all the things that made my morning bad and then I got to the hug and kisses I realized that's what I've prayed about all these years, dreamt about before having Derek, was to have moments like these bad or good that end with a hug, a kiss and an I love you mom. Isn't it crazy that we pay more attention to the bad then we do the good? As I think about my day and the bad stood out to me first I then thank God that I'm not the mom waking up to decide how to bury my child or my husband or dealing with cancer or like we were just a couple of years ago trying to figure out where we were going to go because we lost our house.
No matter what you're going through, just remember even if you think God's not there, if you just flipped the light switch he's standing right beside you in the darkest of darks, he is holding out his hand for you to reach for him, all you have to do is call out for him.
Hey guys, so on Monday, Danny & I will celebrate 13 years of marriage! Looking back on our life together it has been kind of crazy but I'm so thankful that God picked us for this journey. There have been many times within these 13 years that I've heard friends say to us, you guys have the perfect marriage or I wish my marriage was as great at yours. The funny thing is most if the time when people would be saying that there was turmoil on the inside that never showed on the out. When Danny & I got married I never expected to go through even half of the things we've been through, in reality I guess I thought married life was just this fun perfect thing and that it was going to be super awesome all the time. Our marriage has gone through 7 years of infertility, 3 grandparents dying within 6 months of each other, having both of Danny's sisters along with both of their 1 year old sons moving in with us at the same time, depression, 2 pregnancies, 2 beautiful baby boys, cheating, loosing our house to foreclosure, moving in with my parents, and finding Jesus right smack in the middle of it all. I can tell you finally finding Jesus is most definitely the only reason our marriage has survived.
So I have been struggling big time today, it started out a great day then I get this text from someone pretty close to me that is expecting their 4th child, she has decided to have an abortion. My first response is to text my husband to please pray for them, I then text her back and let her know I'm praying. This is while I'm walking around the grocery. When I get to my car I try to pray but I'm not even sure what to pray about, luckily Romans 8:26 says In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. (boy did I need him at that moment.) I start to cry and decided to call my husband, "I don't know why I'm crying," I say, he says "because you know it's wrong and you've struggled with trying to have a baby in the past." So we talk for a bit more, still crying my eyes out and he says I think you need to call her. I agree, hang up the phone, pray for God to give me words to either change her mind or something, I'm really at a loss here. I call her, she answers, "have you done it yet?" "no, not yet," I begin to speak, voice is cracking, I cry, she cries, I just pour my heart out to her of all of the reasons not to and then ask for her reasons that she thinks she should, she tells me her reasons which are valid reasons for not wanting to get pregnant but to me not valid enough to go through with abortion. I ask if I can pray for her, she agrees, so I pray that God helps her, I pray for his strength and forgiveness, I pray for him to help her make the right decision. We sit in silence both weeping, we end our conversation and I drive back to work, I call my husband again and tell him everything that was said, he prays over me. I go into work where my mom and sister are, they can tell I've been crying, of course they ask what's wrong so I tell them, feeling like I'm going to hyperventilate, I just can't imagine someone that claims they know Jesus Christ, how they can do this to an innocent child.
So to say I'm struggling today is an understatement, I've come to the realization that I said everything I could have said, I prayed for her, I talked to her, I cried for her, but in the end it's between her and God, he is the ultimate judge and this is something she will have to live with not me, I cried so much you would have thought that I lost someone very close to me, truth is I know there are still people out there that would love to have taken this baby, there are women out there today crying because yet another pregnancy test is negative, there are people out there right now that will never have a child, and this girl that gets pregnant so easily just took it for granted, but like I said it's not my fight any more, I tried, God knows I tried. I'm angry at her, but I have to forgive her, because God forgives.
Psalm 113:9- He honors the childless wife in her home; he makes her happy by giving her children. Praise the Lord! This means that in some way or another you will have those children, they may not look exactly like what you plan but God's plan is so much greater and better than anything we could ever imagine.
May God bless anyone who reads this blog. With love, Amy
Ever since Danny started running/walking in 5K's (September 2008), I've felt the want to do one, I've always been scared to do them or thought that my body wouldn't hold up. Well this year I was determined that I was going to complete my first 5K no matter how long it took me. Of course I'm not a runner so I walked the entire thing but I did it, I finally completed my first 5K! I was the team captain for "Team Izzy" at the Ava's Run for a Reason 2012 so I felt like I had to complete it. I walked with my two best friends (Danny & Julie) and 3 of the cutest little kids (Derek, Dylan & Ashlyn). I'm very thankful that my husband and my BFF stood by me the entire time and didn't mind that I was going at my own pace. I was officially the last person to cross the finish line, but I was also the last person to cross the start line :). Danny later told me that he was so proud of me for finishing it, he will never know how much that meant to me to hear him say that. I am so thankful to have a husband that cares enough about me to be happy when I accomplish stuff like that. I remember when I was pregnant with Derek and we would go to Danny's runs and see kids & families running/walking together we would always say "I hope that's us some day" well yesterday was our first family 5K and it was AWESOME. I hope one day my boys want to compete in them themselves.
April came & moved out of our house we've been in for 5 years the house we met God in, the house we were blessed with Derek in, the house we found out we were having Dylan in. We lost it to foreclosure if you're wondering why we moved. We moved into my parents house April 19th. May 13 we welcomed Dylan Laken Hubble to the world 7lbs 15 oz 18 1/2" long...
This is a picture of my precious baby with his IV & Oxygen.
We looked to God for comfort & support we wanted him to be ok we wanted to be able to hold him & show him that we were there for him we wanted to be his mommy & daddy. I was so thankful for the people who prayed for him & us. He had to spend the entire night in the nursery & couldn't come to my room, I was able to go see him & even hold him for a few minutes. Big brother came to visit but couldn't see him in person :(. The next day he was able to come off of the oxygen but still had to be on the IV and had to have his oxygen levels monitored all day long. He also got to meet his big brother for the first time...
I keep saying he just wanted us to think that he was just as much a miracle from God as his brother but what he doesn't know is I already thought that. :) I am so thankful for the blessings God has given me, I've prayed for years to become a mommy and now I have 2 beautiful boys that make every day of my life even better than the last.
July we went on a family vacation to Orange Beach, Alabama.
In August Derek turned 2 & Dylan turned 3 months old... Thank you God for the blessings in our life. I hope to repost again soon hopefully won't be another year!
He is the sweetest little boy ever and loves his Mommy so much, of course his Mommy loves him tons too. He just started Mother's Day Out on Monday, that was so hard for me to leave his sweet sad face behind, but it will be good for both of us.
So let me recap this year. Derek was born August 11, 2009 weighing in at 8 lbs 4.3 oz and was 19 inches long. He looked a lot like both me and Danny when we were babies! A few weeks after Derek was born my brother, John, and sister-in-law, Sara, announced they were having a baby too! Derek was a monkey, dinosaur and skeleton for Halloween lol, yes three costumes! We took him on his first road trip to Iowa to see our friends Amanda & Jared in December. We had an awesome Christmas, I turned 30 in February! Life has been crazy busy and then Derek turned a year! That pretty much sums it up lol.
Me and My baby!
Thank you God for the gifts I have been given, for the love that I have been blessed with, for the family that has stood behind me, and the friends that have held my hands. I am truly one lucky and blessed person, and am thankful for all of the things I've been through to get HERE!
As most if not all of you know Danny and I tried for 7 years before we were blessed with a miracle from God, here I am with who knows how long till Derek arrives it could really be any day now, but if he doesn't come on his own I will be induced one day next week, my due date is Tuesday! I've loved the song "Here" by Rascal Flatts since I first heard it, I know that in the song it talks about finding a love or significant other but for me it really has taken on a new meaning. I'm going to explain...
The chorus in itself is the one thing that is so true for me, "I wouldn't change a thing I'd walk right back through the rain, back to every broken heart on the day that it was breakin' and I'd relive all the years and be thankful for the tears I've cried with every stumbled step that led to you and got me here, right here. " It's so powerful I've had many broken hearts in the past 7 years almost once a month when I would start or when I took a pregnancy test and it was negative, those years truly made me the person that I am and those tears I am thankful for them, they are what has made this pregnancy journey the greatest gift I've ever received, without them I don't know that every moment I've felt my baby move inside my belly would have been so powerful, everytime I got to see his precious face on that ultrasound screen so moving, everytime I heard his heartbeat on the dopplar would make my heart skip a beat. I am so thankful that I got to experience that pain, that want, that desire because it's only going to make me a better Mommy. I am so beyond ready to hold my precious child in my arms, hear his cry, kiss his cheeks, look at those beautiful eyes, see that his nose really is mine and his lips really are his Daddy's, the moment that child comes into this world my life will forever change and in the best way possible. He is already so loved and spoiled, and I will make sure every single day that he knows how precious he is to me and how for so many years I've longed for him, and how thankful to God I am that he blessed us with a miracle.
