Being pregnant is the most amazing and scary thing I think I've ever done lol. Knowing that I have someone growing inside of me is the most amazing thing I've ever felt in my life. The love I feel for this baby is unbelievable. The fear of something happening is overwhelming, but the good out weights the bad a thousand times over. Thinking about baby names and wondering if it's going to be a girl or a boy is something I only dreamed of before and now it's a reality that I can actually think about these things and know that in a few months there is going to actually be a baby in my arms. I can't wait until I can feel it moving and kicking, I've already been lucky enough to have two ultrasounds one at week 7 and the baby looked like a blob but we got to see the heartbeat it was so amazing. Then again at week 12 it's amazing to me how much the baby changed in just 5 weeks you could tell it was a baby, you could see it's little nose, and lips and facial features, it's head, it's body and it's feet. Then she showed us the heartbeat again and let us hear it it was so amazing, it brought tears to mine and Danny's eyes. We've tried for so many years to get to this point and it is so worth it. I find myself staring at the ultrasound picture and falling more and more in love with this baby as days go by.
Infertility took a lot out of me, it changed me, and my world, it hurt like hell everyday. I had a constant reminder every time I would see a pregnant woman, see babies, or hear a song on the radio about someones children. I put on a smile all the time and acted like everything was ok and people thought that meant I was strong, but in reality I was weak, I cried a lot during those 7 years, I wondered why me, I was depressed and I know at sometime I even pulled away from some of my friends. I am happy to say they were all still there for me in the end. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I forgot about the pain, in fact now being pregnant makes all that pain and tears and years worth every bit of it. I think going through all of that is going to make me a better parent, a more loving mother. It's like all these years have been getting me ready for my moment of success, my moment of happiness, my moment of joy. I can't explain how much happiness and love I feel in my heart and the gratitude I have for God for giving me this miracle. I am so thankful and will always be thankful for this chance to be the mom I always wanted to be. I am so excited to finally meet my baby, hold it in my arms, and kiss it's little face. I think I am even more excited to see Danny with the baby. It is going to be an awesome day and August can't come soon enough!!!
9:03 AM
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
